Today I felt the need to write this because of the level of pisstivity (yes I made that up) that I experienced today.
I have been on my health ish for the last 28 days and no matter what happens after I get home from work, I must do some type of physical activity. It was a nice day today and I decided that Jaz (my daughter) and I would go to the park. I would take my walk while she rode her bike. There's a park right around the corner, McCarthy Park. It's convenient and it's walking distance.
Sounds like a nice park right? WRONG! The last time I went to McCarthy which was last Spring, there had to be at least 100 kids up there fighting, threatening to shoot each other and whatever other types of bodily harm you could imagine. I felt like I was in danger so I said I would never go back because of that. New year, new feelings...maybe something has changed. WRONG again.
As soon as we entered the park I see little hoodrats chillin along the fence cussin like aint nobody's business. The tables were full of kids just sitting there, not running or playing; just sitting and cussing. So i avoided the crowd and went the other direction. More rats, grown ass women just walking mad slow and talking mad loud. I kept walking. Broken glass all over the track. I was so disgusted. All I could think was "Delaware Park don't look nothing like this". I was so mad that I went home and just worked out there.
Some of you that will read this will agree with me when I say that this is unacceptable. Some of you will say well at least we have a park in the hood. I will agree with the latter BUT just because it's in the hood doesn't mean that we need to treat it like crap. And when we treat things like nature like crap, guess what? WE get treated like crap.
For those that live in or have lived in Buffalo you already know the difference between the two parks. Delaware is located right on the edge of North Buffalo. The landscape is beautiful, the Buffalo Zoo is right in the park. There's four well kept basketball courts, tennis courts, volleyball field, a small golf course, a few man made ponds, a bike path, a huge circle to walk around for exercise, etc. And there is heavy police presence there as well. You get the gist.
McCarthy has the same stuff believe it or not (except for the Zoo). There's even a football field at McCarthy, a small one but there is one. What's the difference? It's near one of the worst neighborhoods in Buffalo, Central Park. There's litter everywhere, vandalism, the landscape is not appealing at all. It's not very well lit at night. There's no police presence. The only time I see police in that park is when they're looking for someone. People are sitting in their cars smoking, drinking. It's a neighborhood hangout. I don't want to go there to exercise. I feel scared and unsafe.
My question is why is that we treat Delaware Park like a gem and McCarthy like a shithole? They are both a part of the Olmsted Park System. Even MLK Park gets better treatment. I have the answer. Black folks in certain areas don't appreciate the gift of nature. They don't appreciate the fact that there is a park that was put there for children to play, a place to relax, a place to get fit. I should be able to go to the park and exhale. But they see it as a place to get loose and act niggerish. I should be able to let Jaz go to the park with her buddies and not have to worry about of she is going to get jumped by some disrespectful kids. My mom used to let us walk to park by ourselves. I cant do that. I see kids gets jumped over here all the time.
People are going to get offended by my words and say that I ain't hood. I grew up in the hood, right on Genessee and Fillmore. Now I'm on the other side of town which isn't so bad for the most part but I'm so over it. If we have to live here, why can't we respect it just like we respect North Buffalo when we visit there? I don't see anybody walking around Delaware smoking weed out in the open. I have never seen a broken beer bottle, a dirty diaper anywhere in that park. People say well the city don't clean up the park. Why don't they clean up McCarthy?? Because ya'll keep tearing it up! We don't care so why should they. Why don't they clean up some of these neighborhoods? We don't care so why should they.
Why don't we care? Why do we continue to make the neighborhoods worse and worse? Why don't we take a stand? Sometimes it takes one person to get up and say "enough". MLK got a new splash pad because somebody stood up and said enough. Yeah it's taking forever to finish but I would take Jaz over there to play. Look at what's happening with what used to another bad neighborhood the Fruitbelt. The medical campus is expanding. That neighborhood will be full of 100K houses soon. If we don't change our neighborhood, someone will come along and do it for us. I love my people but everyday, I'm starting to not like them so much because of things like McCarthy Park.
Should I be that person that stands up and says "enough"? It's a thought but it starts with the community. Until then, back to Delaware I go!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
the Journey
I know I know, I have been slacking on my writing but I have been on a mission....
A little over a month ago my husband began working out and seeing a personal trainer. About 2 weeks after he started doing that, I noticed some changes in his body. His face started getting smaller and his clothes looked bigger. At first it did not motivate me. I felt good that he felt good and I kept doing what I was doing.
About a week later, we went to breakfast together. I ordered french toast, eggs, bacon and toast. The plate looked like double servings. On the other side of the table he had grilled fish and egg whites. I felt like I was eating for two lol. I think that is the day when I realized that it was time for me to make some changes.
The day after that I started changing my diet and I began to exercise. Not for one second did I say I can't do this. I just did it.
Was it hard? Absolutely! I love food, I love to eat. I love going out to eat. I love to eat a huge dinner every night and then plop down on the couch. It was time out for all that. And at 33 years old, I should not be struggling to get up the stairs everyday. My knees should not hurt just to sit down on the couch. I felt my confidence and self esteem slowly diminish after I went shopping. Do I care that I have to shop in the plus section? No but why should I have to?
At first I will admit that I think I kind of only started this to compete with my husband but after about a week I realized that this isn't a competition with him. This is a competition with myself and my inner struggles. Food and work were controlling my life. I go to work to look forward to lunch to look forward to getting off of work to figure out what I am going to eat for dinner. And I work so much that I just come home, eat and go to bed. I don't have an excuse for eating everything, I just enjoy food and I still do. But when you get to a point when you look in the mirror and say "well I'm just going to be heavy, I'll just live with it" there's an issue. I knew I could lose the weight because I have done it before. I actually lost just under 10 pounds back about 7 months ago. I hurt my knee and never recovered from it. It was oh well I hurt my knee, I guess I can't work out any more. I reverted to my old ways.
After eating that wonderful breakfast at Bob Evans, I made the decision to stop the BS. I started doing the routines that I did to lose the weight the first time and then I changed my eating pattern. Again, I LOVE FOOD lol. To give up a lot of things cold turkey was difficult. I never ate breakfast. My mind told me that eating too early in the morning made me sick. I had to get over that. Now I can't start my day without it. Snacking in between meals, couldn't do it. I forced myself to do it now my body MUST have energy every few hours. And now forget a big dinner. I'm eating off of smaller plates and am satisfied with just the serving size. I can eat candy like nobody's business but I have cut a lot of that back as well.
There are so many people out there that are just like me but can't seem to get the ball rolling. Haven't we all said "Imma start exercising tomorrow"? And then tomorrow comes and you say "well i wanna eat this pizza then Imma start tomorrow" lol. It was hard for me too. I said tomorrow plenty of times. But I am the kind of person that starts something and when I start seeing results I want to see more results. Results don't come overnight. You must have patience for this process and you have to stick with it. I have slipped up a few times but the next day I'm right back at it.
I see this and I'm about to get real. Black folks have the tendency to procrastinate and come up with excuses. My excuse? I hurt my knee. Why did my knee hurt? Because I was fat and my body was confused about this new activity that was going on. Black people like to eat bad food. Why? because there are no healthy options in the hood. There's a chinese restaurant, a liquor store, a church and a steak hoagie place on just about every other corner. Yeah you can get a chicken hoagie but how is it prepared? Fried up with grease and that orange sauce that we love that every steak place makes lol. I have only seen one Subway in the hood and where is it? Next to a church! But not having healthy options is also not an excuse. Make your own healthy options. A bag a salad at Aldi's is 99 cents. Eat the serving size of cereal, not the whole box. Eat five chicken wings with a side salad instead of 20 wings and a boatload of fries. It's ok to enjoy food without indulging.
And there's not much access to a gym in the hood. But that's no excuse either. Go to the park and walk around it a few times. Everyone has a DVD player. Buy a workout DVD. I don't go anywhere near a gym, I work at home and outside at the park. We all have cell phones and they do all types of things. I use mine as a pedometer, a heart rate monitor (doesn't work that great), calorie counter etc...You can You Tube any workout and Google any diet you want. There's so many tools at hand that there's no excuse not to do something.
It's a known fact that black people are at a higher risk for hypertension and diabetes. And if you are black and a woman you need to worry about breast cancer and heart disease.Making just small changes like eating breakfast in the morning, taking a multi vitamin or even just walking for 30 mins can help. By no means am I preaching or trying to be a know-it-all but why not feel better? When I exercise and that sweat is pouring off of me, not only do i feel the fat melting away but I feel the old me leaving my body and a new me being born. Yes...a re-birth. Giving myself a second chance. I see all of the health problems in my family from all types of addictions to diabetes. I see what it can do to a person's spirit and physical. I will not spend the rest of my life wondering when my "inherited" disease will come.
I look at myself everyday and feel my confidence building back up. My clothes are looser and my soul feels as though it is healing. Three and a half weeks and 7 pounds later (maybe more I won't weigh in until next week), I thank God for giving me the strength to take this journey and my husband for leading me down this path.
A little over a month ago my husband began working out and seeing a personal trainer. About 2 weeks after he started doing that, I noticed some changes in his body. His face started getting smaller and his clothes looked bigger. At first it did not motivate me. I felt good that he felt good and I kept doing what I was doing.
About a week later, we went to breakfast together. I ordered french toast, eggs, bacon and toast. The plate looked like double servings. On the other side of the table he had grilled fish and egg whites. I felt like I was eating for two lol. I think that is the day when I realized that it was time for me to make some changes.
The day after that I started changing my diet and I began to exercise. Not for one second did I say I can't do this. I just did it.
Was it hard? Absolutely! I love food, I love to eat. I love going out to eat. I love to eat a huge dinner every night and then plop down on the couch. It was time out for all that. And at 33 years old, I should not be struggling to get up the stairs everyday. My knees should not hurt just to sit down on the couch. I felt my confidence and self esteem slowly diminish after I went shopping. Do I care that I have to shop in the plus section? No but why should I have to?
At first I will admit that I think I kind of only started this to compete with my husband but after about a week I realized that this isn't a competition with him. This is a competition with myself and my inner struggles. Food and work were controlling my life. I go to work to look forward to lunch to look forward to getting off of work to figure out what I am going to eat for dinner. And I work so much that I just come home, eat and go to bed. I don't have an excuse for eating everything, I just enjoy food and I still do. But when you get to a point when you look in the mirror and say "well I'm just going to be heavy, I'll just live with it" there's an issue. I knew I could lose the weight because I have done it before. I actually lost just under 10 pounds back about 7 months ago. I hurt my knee and never recovered from it. It was oh well I hurt my knee, I guess I can't work out any more. I reverted to my old ways.
After eating that wonderful breakfast at Bob Evans, I made the decision to stop the BS. I started doing the routines that I did to lose the weight the first time and then I changed my eating pattern. Again, I LOVE FOOD lol. To give up a lot of things cold turkey was difficult. I never ate breakfast. My mind told me that eating too early in the morning made me sick. I had to get over that. Now I can't start my day without it. Snacking in between meals, couldn't do it. I forced myself to do it now my body MUST have energy every few hours. And now forget a big dinner. I'm eating off of smaller plates and am satisfied with just the serving size. I can eat candy like nobody's business but I have cut a lot of that back as well.
There are so many people out there that are just like me but can't seem to get the ball rolling. Haven't we all said "Imma start exercising tomorrow"? And then tomorrow comes and you say "well i wanna eat this pizza then Imma start tomorrow" lol. It was hard for me too. I said tomorrow plenty of times. But I am the kind of person that starts something and when I start seeing results I want to see more results. Results don't come overnight. You must have patience for this process and you have to stick with it. I have slipped up a few times but the next day I'm right back at it.
I see this and I'm about to get real. Black folks have the tendency to procrastinate and come up with excuses. My excuse? I hurt my knee. Why did my knee hurt? Because I was fat and my body was confused about this new activity that was going on. Black people like to eat bad food. Why? because there are no healthy options in the hood. There's a chinese restaurant, a liquor store, a church and a steak hoagie place on just about every other corner. Yeah you can get a chicken hoagie but how is it prepared? Fried up with grease and that orange sauce that we love that every steak place makes lol. I have only seen one Subway in the hood and where is it? Next to a church! But not having healthy options is also not an excuse. Make your own healthy options. A bag a salad at Aldi's is 99 cents. Eat the serving size of cereal, not the whole box. Eat five chicken wings with a side salad instead of 20 wings and a boatload of fries. It's ok to enjoy food without indulging.
And there's not much access to a gym in the hood. But that's no excuse either. Go to the park and walk around it a few times. Everyone has a DVD player. Buy a workout DVD. I don't go anywhere near a gym, I work at home and outside at the park. We all have cell phones and they do all types of things. I use mine as a pedometer, a heart rate monitor (doesn't work that great), calorie counter etc...You can You Tube any workout and Google any diet you want. There's so many tools at hand that there's no excuse not to do something.
It's a known fact that black people are at a higher risk for hypertension and diabetes. And if you are black and a woman you need to worry about breast cancer and heart disease.Making just small changes like eating breakfast in the morning, taking a multi vitamin or even just walking for 30 mins can help. By no means am I preaching or trying to be a know-it-all but why not feel better? When I exercise and that sweat is pouring off of me, not only do i feel the fat melting away but I feel the old me leaving my body and a new me being born. Yes...a re-birth. Giving myself a second chance. I see all of the health problems in my family from all types of addictions to diabetes. I see what it can do to a person's spirit and physical. I will not spend the rest of my life wondering when my "inherited" disease will come.
I look at myself everyday and feel my confidence building back up. My clothes are looser and my soul feels as though it is healing. Three and a half weeks and 7 pounds later (maybe more I won't weigh in until next week), I thank God for giving me the strength to take this journey and my husband for leading me down this path.
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