That's Just Nasty

Is it cool now to have sex with no condoms? I see so many men and women out here with kids that are not in monogamous relationships or married. Chicks are just popping out kids left and right and dudes are just sticking their junk inside of whatever moves. What happened to caring about your health? Is that quick thrill really worth possijubly losing your life or getting some nasty disease?

Of course i had to say something because of the whole D. Wade - Gabrielle Union fiasco. If you haven't heard, Dwayne Wade suddenly had a baby with some unknown chick while is a relationship with Gabrielle.  Allegedly they were on a break when this happened. You know, im willing to accept the fact that maybe they were on a break when this happened or maybe they weren't.  Shit happens. I am NOT willing to accept the fact that he went raw dog and had a baby. That is just nasty!!  And then he went back to Gabrielle and was probably going raw dog with her too. Then had the audacity to propose to her. Unacceptable!
I would love to get inside the head of any man to figure out why they do this. Why is it necessary that if you take a break from your woman that it requires you to have relations with someone else? Plus when you decide that it wasn't worth it, you wanna bring your raggedy undecided behind back. Just stay where you were if it was that serious for you to bounce in the first place.When you're young and unattached, thats one thing. But when you get to be on your late 30s and 40s, isn't it a little childish to keep jumping up and humping around? If you want to be single then be single.  Its just selfish and makes some men look like they have no self control.

And ladies why do we keep falling for this? Not necessarily FALL for it but there is a miscommunication.  Sometimes how men feel in a relationship dont equal to what we feel in a relationship.  We might read the fact that he stayed the night as "we are official". He might just think "I was too drunk to drive so I slept over". He might not be feeling you like that. We do get extra emotional and get extra sensitive when it comes to men. But men dont necessarily feel the same and that tends to push them away. In the case of Dwayne and Gabrielle they were seeing each other for a while.  I dont know what their relationship was like but one would think that their line of communication was open due to the length of their relationship. 

As for the side piece, what are they thinking?  You gotta know thats all you are and all that you are going to be. I understand that most side pieces have an agenda. They are likely to find a way to stay connected to the guy or find a way to hurt the main woman. Dwaye's side piece wrote a letter to the main woman AND had a baby AND about to get paid. Triple whammy. I just cant seem to wrap my head around why I would be happy with just being the chick that every dude hooks up with when they need a fix. Its very sad that gold diggers still exist and that women are satisfied with living off of rich men and have nothing else to show for.

So far I know that I sound very sexist but who cares. Im not a man so why wouldn't I sound sexist. I do know that there are some women out there who are just as bad if not worse. Laying down with every Tom, Dick and Harry and even making babies with all three in some cases.

All sexism aside, who still has sex without protection?  Did we forget about this incurable disease that stopped the earth in 1991 when Magic Johnson announced that he had it? How about venereal diseases? Condoms seem to be underrated these days. We are not invincible.  And Lord knows that the last thing we need is more babies coming into this world from mothers whose intentions are selfish and vindictive. Condoms are cheap and you can buy boxes of them. And ladies what about birth control?? Take a pill, get a patch instead of just allowing men to just bust one off. Ewww!!

The bottom line is that adults need to stop acting like children. We have to be more responsible for ourselves. If you have unprotected sex, there are consequences. You can do the logical thing and just not have unprotected sex. Or just not have it at all. And is monogamy dead or is the human obsession with lust so overwhelming that it is impossible to ignore the abundance of genitalia out there?? There's nothing wrong with dating when you single. You're dating, trying to find a mate for yourself.  But having sex with all of them to help you make your decision is unjust in my opinion. If you feel the need to take a break in your relationship to "see "other people just be honest. Yes honesty hurts but I think that I would prefer that you tell me what you're going to do so that I know what I am going to do during the "break".

Sure Dwayne bought Gabrielle an engagement ring a pulled a Kobe but does that just erase everything? Is Gabrielle insecure or is she just accepting everything for what it is because she is standing by her man? And did she just let go of the fact that he could have come home with a disease??? I respect that because until I'm in her situation I dont know what I would do but i think im leaning toward the opposite of Gabrielle's decision.

The "N" Word

Im just going to jump right into it. The "N" word-- nigger, nigga, whatever. Recently there has been so much buzz lately surrounding the usage of it and really WHO is using it. Just this week Madonna used it on Instagram referring to her son using the hash tag #thisnigga.  Then lashed out on Twitter saying "get off my d$!k". (I personally find that funny lol). And the guy that Kanye pummeled for calling Kim K a nigger lover. A few years ago we had Michael Richards aka Kramer who called some hecklers niggers at his stand-up show. Then I also heard that Gwyneth Paltrow used the hashtag #niggasinparis when she was at a show in Paris where Kanye and Jay Z were performing.

So guess what happens after people who are not black use this word? We get mad. We wanna start screaming about slavery and racism.  Well why dont we get mad when we say it to each other? Black folks have made it ok to say nigga so non black people think that they should get a pass. Maybe I'm making an assumption but thats what I'm thinking. We use this term so loosely that im shocked it hasn't made it to Webster's yet. Hell twerking did. Twerking just came up in my auto spell lol.

I'll admit that I use it very often. Its just one of those automatic words. Kind of like a filler. Remember when Bernie Mac talked about using mother***ker as an adjective or just as a filler word? Same thing happens here. Its almost like punctuation.  But these are not excuses for the excessive use of it.

Is nigga really a term of endearment?  I dont think that there was anything endearing back in the slavery days when black people were called nigger.  I dont think that there was anything endearing about nigger when we were segregated.  Wouldn't it be weird if black people started calling each other colored?? "Hey waddup colored boy?" Sounds stupid right..

So I was listening to the radio (XM where anything goes) and this topic of non black people using the word was up. So a white guy called in and said well if I say NIGGA it just means its cool. If I say NIGGER then I should expect problems. The logic in that makes sense to me. We say it all the time and we dont use the "ER". What if I called a black person a nigger?  What would the outcome be? I've only heard one black person say it (Uncle Ruckus) and it was funny. But why?? If its not ok for white people then it shouldn't be ok for black people.

Black folks in the entertainment industry are extremely guilty of making the use of nigga mainstream.  Comedians and rappers for the most part. Why are they not scrutinized for it. Maybe because its entertainment but there's no way that anyone can tell me that after they leave that stage that they dont use the word. If they do that's their business. But if we cant seem to get away from it how can we expect anyone, black or white, to not ease up on the usage or not say it at all? Should we even keep getting offended that its out there or do we just ignore it? Its hard to ignore but we as black people make it ok and get mad when others use it in their own way.

On the other end of the spectrum, why is it that black people get mad about the N word but we find it ok to make jokes about white people? I understand that we think that we have the right because of slavery blah blah blah but isn't that a double standard? Thats like saying its not ok for men to be in gay relationships but two women together is sexy (and I've heard someone say that which baffles me). Do I make white people jokes? Yes and you know whats funny is that white people will go to a black comedian's show and crack up laughing.  If a white person makes black jokes and the camera cuts to the black people, they're angry! I mean come on people. There's a movie called White Men Cant Jump!!! What if there was a movie called Black Men Cant Drive? There would be all kinds of chaos. Louis CK, a hilarious white comedian, has made black jokes in his stand ups that I've seen and I thought the joke were funny, especially since they were true. And I also wonder if there are really any white people that get offended when they hear the jokes. I bet they dont because hmmm...lets see....they know its just jokes!!!

The point that im trying to make is that the N word is just a word to me. If its used to harm then get mad. If it's used for fun so what. I understand that most white folks wont say it out of respect even if we give them permission lol. But WE shouldn't be using it as much as we do and if its not ok for them then it shouldn't be ok for us. And if white people want to make black jokes so what. Its just jokes!