I was at work daydreaming, looking out the window and I started thinking about the changes that have occurred in my life and the things that are about to become. I got married in December to the greatest man EVER. After I got married I started to have these feelings that I never thought that I would have. In fact I never even thought that these feelings even existed.
I have never thought of myself as a spiritual person but something happened on December 28th 2012. I really did feel that our souls actually combined. When I stood at that alter and said those words, I felt like I was saying things that I should have said 19 years ago. After that day I found myself doing things that I wouldn't ordinarily do.Like SMILING for now flipping reason lol
When Tom Cruise said " you complete me" on Jerry Maguire, I thought it was corny. But now I understand, HE COMPLETES ME. I need my husband. By no means is he perfect and I will never be the perfect wife. But we are who we are and our spirits were brought together for a reason.
I used to always listen divorcees say "the next time I get married it's going to be for money" and I would laugh because I had never been married but is that what happily ever after is supposed to be. Hearing things like that used to make me feel afraid to tie the knot. Was I going to also be unhappy if I got married? It just sounded scary to hear the stories of cheating husbands/wives. It made me wonder "were you unhappy when you got married? did it just happen and when?" I won't lie, I was scared to death. Divorce rates were up, casual sex was at an all time high and people around me didn't make marriage sound like something I wanted to do. Like they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it so we continued to shack up.
After speaking to a pastor who literally laughed at us when we explained our issues to him, he said you know there's an evil spirit in your home that is trying to make you unhappy. Your issues are minor. Why are you not married? (Not exactly those words but pretty close). All we could say was we don't have any money to get married or we wait to buy a house first. All he could say was WHY? You have each other. Your issues acan be resolved. You don't even know that when you have that union so many things in your life will change. you will be blessed beyond blessed. It made me think "is he pulling my chain? are you not allowed blessings because you're not married?" After some thought I understood what he meant lol.
The benefits to being married aren't financial like some people think. The love that I already had for my husband grew after the union. Our souls mated and we became a unit much bigger than what we were before. And guess what? The blessings started flowing in. People could see the happiness on our faces. I felt like people wanted to be us.
There are things that I am still learning about becoming a good wife. I'll never be perfect and my husband understands that (I hope lol). And I know that there are things that he also needs to work on. But I have been trying to learn some things from a source that I believe counts in most people eyes and that is the Bible. I read this one and I think that it helps me. Its Ephesians Chapter 4 verses 2-3. It says "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." People should use that in everyday LIFE. Trust me I'm still working on it. I have had to make some changes but in the end it's all worth it.
I know that you can't just run out and marry the first man/woman you think you should marry. It's really not that easy. People tend judge others because they are so picky about who they date. There's nothing wrong with that. Marry the person that you know you will be the happiest with. Forget what your single girlfriends/homies says. They want you to be unhappy right along with them. Forget what your family says. It's not about them. You may have to lose a few friends and family members. The Bible also says something along the lines of leaving your mother and father for your wife. Basically saying your priority now is your union. You don't have to ignore your family and friends but now you have your own family. A wise man once told me that the person that you need to make the happiest is the person that you spend you every waking moment with. If you can't be happy and the other person is just as miserbale then they ain't it. Keep looking. There's someone for everyone.
The bottom line is that I definetly have a new spring in my step and a new attitude towards life. I am going to grow old with this man and sit on our porch swing with a glass of lemonade. To quote Ne-yo "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together". Now I understand it. Im sure thats not what he was talking about (marriage) but same concept. I will stand on the mountain top and tell the world how much I love my husband! He makes me better....
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
The Thirst is Worse Than the Hunger
I had a talk a special person in my life and they told me that these niggas in Buffalo really ain't s**t and that she is used to the lame approach. Personally I wouldn't know because 1. I haven't been in the game in YEARS and 2. I am married and really wouldn't give two craps about what the men in the city of Buffalo are all about.
But as the day went on, I thought about the fact that she said that the men these days think that this new generation of 20 somethings are straight up hoes. Now I tend to agree with the older men because of the things that I see and what is accepted by the "new" generation of so called women. Walking around flaunting their humongous butts and over sized boobs. Calling themselves the "baddest bitches" and can barely read or write. What are they accepting? They are accepting the fact that 2 Chainz and them said that they love "bad bitches". And that future said that he has some "down bitches" that he can call because he has good kush and alcohol. If I was a dude I would be happy as hell too that I could call them and get what i want.
The question is why is this accepted? Why do women need to downgrade themselves to be considered an upgrade to most men? Do women really need to define themselves by what a here today gone tomorrow rapper has to say? And men, are you that thirsty and that unhappy with yourself that you will take anything that comes your way? Is a woman with an EBT card and good smoking lungs all that matter anymore? The answer is YES to all and I can break that down.
First of all, I remember when BITCH was such a bad word. Man if you said bitch that was an automatic fight. Now it's 2nd nature. I was at the chinese restaurant with my 10 year old daughter and a group of these young girls were just saying bitch like they were saying each other's names. I said "YO! My daughter is standing right here. Is that how ya'll talk in front of kids and adults?" Now none of the other grown ups in the restaurant had the balls to say what I said because kids are so disrespectful these days that they are afraid step to them. Yeah they snickered and talked smack (they were whispering though lol) but I bet they didn't say bitch again lol. But remember when Queen Latifah made it cool to bully men and say "who you callin a bitch". Now we're submitting to this Tom Foolery? What happened to the activists that wanted to ban these types of songs? Why is the industry able to get away with this? (that's a whole different conversation)
The biggest question is MEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING US BITCHES? Would you let a man call your mom a bitch or your daughter? Probably not. Guys, don't say well that's what she calls herself. You need to be saying girl you are not a bitch, you are a lady. Sometimes I don't think that women in general are bringing themselves down. I think that a majority of men are not helping with the uplifting of women. How can you expect a woman to be this well oiled machine when you are treating her the way that society tells them they NEED to be treated or WANT to be treated? Be the better man and respect us. If you hear your mans and them talking about another female and referring to her as bitch, tell him to cut it out.
Ladies you need to be doing the same. I hear tons of women referring to other women as bitches. I've said this before and this especially goes for black women. Black women are extremely hard on each other. I hate walking past other black women to whom I speak (Good Morning or just Hello) and they just look at me all messed up. What's the point? Women get enough grief as it is and for us to lay that grief out on each other doesn't make it any better. Bitches are dogs. I am NOT a dog and I will not let any man or woman refer to me as that.
Now I need to go back to my point of why this generation is so accepting of things that my generation would never accept. And why would some of the men of my generation want to accept this new generation of fuck ups. I don't believe that all of this new generation of ladies and gents are all fuck ups but 95% I believe are. When I say fuck up, I mean the women are just throwing the coochie out there (thirst). Your ass should not be the first thing that I see when I look at your FB profile picture (thirst). It is going to be a man's natural reaction to say well damn. After that one of two things will happen. Either he is going to look at the picture, maybe even check your profile to see the rest of your pics and keep it moving. If he's thirsty he will inbox you and try to hit. Like, you don't even know her! Why would you even inbox this girl. You don't how old she is, you don't know if she has a disease. Hell that might not even be her! I mean just LAME.
Oh and trust me there are some dudes out there that are the same way. Flashing cash at tax time that you don't really have, taking pics of cars that you know ain't yours, talking about how much weed you got. Man puh-lease. And these chicks are going for the same okie doke.
And the worst have GOT to be the married men/women, the thirstiest ones in the game. I wont even go there but you get the gist.
The point is that this generation of 20 somethings have no respect for themselves or other people. It's time out for that. It's time to grow up. Stop tattooing your body up, get a job and get mature. Ladies/fellas 18-25, this is still the time for you to still have fun but at the same time, you still need to have priorities. 26 and up, its time to get your real friends list together, no I'm not talking about Facebook. I'm talking about your real life friends. It's time to surround yourself with positivity. Get out the clubs and start thinking about the rest of your life, Where would you like to see yourself in 10-15 years. Do you have a retirement plan? Do you even understand what a 401K is? And if you have children, what is the plan for them? Do you have a college fund for them? Trust fund? So many things to think about at that age and it just doesn't seem like there is any help in sight. There are some that do have it together that I know personally and I can probably count them on one hand and that is just sad.
But as the day went on, I thought about the fact that she said that the men these days think that this new generation of 20 somethings are straight up hoes. Now I tend to agree with the older men because of the things that I see and what is accepted by the "new" generation of so called women. Walking around flaunting their humongous butts and over sized boobs. Calling themselves the "baddest bitches" and can barely read or write. What are they accepting? They are accepting the fact that 2 Chainz and them said that they love "bad bitches". And that future said that he has some "down bitches" that he can call because he has good kush and alcohol. If I was a dude I would be happy as hell too that I could call them and get what i want.
The question is why is this accepted? Why do women need to downgrade themselves to be considered an upgrade to most men? Do women really need to define themselves by what a here today gone tomorrow rapper has to say? And men, are you that thirsty and that unhappy with yourself that you will take anything that comes your way? Is a woman with an EBT card and good smoking lungs all that matter anymore? The answer is YES to all and I can break that down.
First of all, I remember when BITCH was such a bad word. Man if you said bitch that was an automatic fight. Now it's 2nd nature. I was at the chinese restaurant with my 10 year old daughter and a group of these young girls were just saying bitch like they were saying each other's names. I said "YO! My daughter is standing right here. Is that how ya'll talk in front of kids and adults?" Now none of the other grown ups in the restaurant had the balls to say what I said because kids are so disrespectful these days that they are afraid step to them. Yeah they snickered and talked smack (they were whispering though lol) but I bet they didn't say bitch again lol. But remember when Queen Latifah made it cool to bully men and say "who you callin a bitch". Now we're submitting to this Tom Foolery? What happened to the activists that wanted to ban these types of songs? Why is the industry able to get away with this? (that's a whole different conversation)
The biggest question is MEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING US BITCHES? Would you let a man call your mom a bitch or your daughter? Probably not. Guys, don't say well that's what she calls herself. You need to be saying girl you are not a bitch, you are a lady. Sometimes I don't think that women in general are bringing themselves down. I think that a majority of men are not helping with the uplifting of women. How can you expect a woman to be this well oiled machine when you are treating her the way that society tells them they NEED to be treated or WANT to be treated? Be the better man and respect us. If you hear your mans and them talking about another female and referring to her as bitch, tell him to cut it out.
Ladies you need to be doing the same. I hear tons of women referring to other women as bitches. I've said this before and this especially goes for black women. Black women are extremely hard on each other. I hate walking past other black women to whom I speak (Good Morning or just Hello) and they just look at me all messed up. What's the point? Women get enough grief as it is and for us to lay that grief out on each other doesn't make it any better. Bitches are dogs. I am NOT a dog and I will not let any man or woman refer to me as that.
Now I need to go back to my point of why this generation is so accepting of things that my generation would never accept. And why would some of the men of my generation want to accept this new generation of fuck ups. I don't believe that all of this new generation of ladies and gents are all fuck ups but 95% I believe are. When I say fuck up, I mean the women are just throwing the coochie out there (thirst). Your ass should not be the first thing that I see when I look at your FB profile picture (thirst). It is going to be a man's natural reaction to say well damn. After that one of two things will happen. Either he is going to look at the picture, maybe even check your profile to see the rest of your pics and keep it moving. If he's thirsty he will inbox you and try to hit. Like, you don't even know her! Why would you even inbox this girl. You don't how old she is, you don't know if she has a disease. Hell that might not even be her! I mean just LAME.
Oh and trust me there are some dudes out there that are the same way. Flashing cash at tax time that you don't really have, taking pics of cars that you know ain't yours, talking about how much weed you got. Man puh-lease. And these chicks are going for the same okie doke.
And the worst have GOT to be the married men/women, the thirstiest ones in the game. I wont even go there but you get the gist.
The point is that this generation of 20 somethings have no respect for themselves or other people. It's time out for that. It's time to grow up. Stop tattooing your body up, get a job and get mature. Ladies/fellas 18-25, this is still the time for you to still have fun but at the same time, you still need to have priorities. 26 and up, its time to get your real friends list together, no I'm not talking about Facebook. I'm talking about your real life friends. It's time to surround yourself with positivity. Get out the clubs and start thinking about the rest of your life, Where would you like to see yourself in 10-15 years. Do you have a retirement plan? Do you even understand what a 401K is? And if you have children, what is the plan for them? Do you have a college fund for them? Trust fund? So many things to think about at that age and it just doesn't seem like there is any help in sight. There are some that do have it together that I know personally and I can probably count them on one hand and that is just sad.
Friday, March 8, 2013
I Dont Need No Introduction.
So I've been saying to myself over and over that I have so much to say in my head that I need to start writing it down. There's just not enough hours in a day to do anything. Finally I have two minutes so here I am, Mrs Martin.
I really dont need an introduction for those that already know me. If you dont know me just follow my blog posts and you will get to know the inner workings of this oh so great mind lol. Ciao for now. More to come...
I really dont need an introduction for those that already know me. If you dont know me just follow my blog posts and you will get to know the inner workings of this oh so great mind lol. Ciao for now. More to come...
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